Welcome to my website!

Jeff FeazellI’m a writer, actor, and comedian from Los Angeles, California. This site is where I post my news satire and other stuff I’m working on.

My improv team, Wichita, performs the 1st and 3rd Mondays of every month at M.I.’s Westside Comedy Theater at 8pm. Check the calendar to be sure.

Here’s my acting reel.

4 New Episodes of Youth Pastor Kevin!

2-Night Max: Episode 6

Laurel and Piyehdroh like couples who make them feel better about their own relationship.

2-Night Max: Episode 5

Microbes are everywhere.

2-Night Max: Episode 4

If someone thinks you’re a murderer, they’re just gonna think you’re a murderer.

2-Night Max: Episode 3

It’s amazing how someone so young can accumulate a lifetime of wisdom.

2-Night Max: Episode 2

This guy is seriously pissed off at the airline company.

2-Night Max: Episode 1

Laurel and Piyehdroh have to tell Saus he can’t book another night.

2-Night Max premieres September 24th!

2-Night Max, the new web series I co-created with my wife Kerri Fernsworth is going live on September 24th! Check out the trailer!

Check out the Web Show Show at M.I.’s Westside Comedy Theater!

1173825_221075018048282_1174894170_n 1186892_221074648048319_511762538_nOn the third Thursday of every month, January through October, M.I.’s Westside Comedy Theater presents The Web Show Show, a web video showcase that pits six hopeful web series creators against one another in a competitive live screening event featuring a 12-foot screen, a full 1080p HD projector, and brilliant sound. Three industry judges give their feedback on each video before the audience decides, via paper ballot, which creators win some sweet prizes, including a general meeting with Collective Digital Studio.

I co-host and co-produce the show with Ted Evans.

For show and submission information, check out our website: http://thewebshowshow.com

 

Dog Blissfully Unaware Game Of Fetch Arousing Owner

ROCKFORD, MI—Despite trusting her very survival to a man with a deep, perverse desire to engage in interspecies sexual intercourse with her, local dog Ginger reportedly enjoyed a profoundly fulfilling game of fetch with 33-year-old owner Michael Flaster Friday. “Run, run, run, grab, turn around, run, run, run, drop,” said the 55-pound Labrador, contentedly lacking the slightest cognizance of the fact that each carefree retrieval of her favorite worn tennis ball further intensified Flaster’s state of arousal. “Jump, gaze, turn around, sniff, run, run, spot ball, run, grab.” While having no idea that the human being upon whom she depends entirely for food, shelter, and companionship is constantly at the mercy of burning bestial lust, Ginger confirmed that she earnestly avoids lying on Flaster’s lap because his erections make it physically uncomfortable.

Study: Women Lawmakers Bribed Less For Same Corruption As Male Counterparts

WASHINGTON—A study released Tuesday by researchers at Washington-based Brookings Institute found that despite being equally willing to undermine the interests of the American populace for personal gain, the 93 women currently serving in Congress receive, on average, 30 percent smaller kickbacks from lobbyists than male members who similarly disregard the nation’s well-being.

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Millions Participate In National Drive-To-Work Day

UNITED STATES—Taking part in a nationwide initiative aimed at boosting awareness of the advantages of driving a car to work, millions of Americans abandoned their bicycles and transit passes Tuesday, choosing instead to travel alone by automobile.

As elated workers packed U.S. roadways in celebration of Drive-to-Work Day, the nation’s first organized automotive commuting event, many yearningly imagined a U.S. where nearly everyone drives a private car to work every day.

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Arkansas Public School Curriculum Replaced With Walmart Training

LITTLE ROCK, AR—Citing a goal to equip children with the fundamental skills they will need for the duration of their adult lives, the Arkansas General Assembly approved Monday a bill that will replace the state’s public K-12 curriculum with comprehensive training for entry-level employment at Walmart stores.

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Nation Relieved Explosion That Killed 35 Just Result Of Corporate Negligence

WEST, TX—Following reports of a fatal explosion at a Texas fertilizer plant Wednesday, the U.S. populace expressed relief that the disaster was simply the after-effect of a corporation’s heedless attitude toward worker safety and not a deranged act of terrorism.

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Youth Pastor Kevin – Episode 1: Pornography and Masturbation

Youth Pastor Kevin – Episode 2: White Problems

Youth Pastor Kevin – Episode 3: Christian Concert

Youth Pastor Kevin – Episode 4: Female Immodesty

Youth Pastor Kevin – Episode 5: Lukewarm Worship

Youth Pastor Kevin – Episode 6: Praise Team Tryouts

Youth Pastor Kevin – Episode 7: Mission Mexico

12 Hazing Survivors Charged With Hazing Death

Workaholic Judge Spends Entire Vacation Judging Family

JACKSON HOLE, WY—In a move sources called the result of an extreme obsession with career, Michigan Circuit Court Judge Vance Daniel spent a rare week away from his Detroit courtroom in the Wyoming Rockies relentlessly judging his wife and three children. Daniel, who earns a living passing judgement upon people and things, reportedly began his vacation by transitioning seamlessly from work-related to domestic judgement. “He always has to be judging something, whether it’s the merits of a civil case or the way I cook his eggs in the morning,” said wife Amy Daniel, who eventually regretted forcing the Clinton-appointed justice to leave his legal briefs behind for the family’s seven-day ski trip. “I guess judgment is just a part of who he is.” Reached for comment, Daniel’s 16-year-old son Trent told reporters that it is wrong for them to intrude into his father’s personal life.

Biden To Knock Out A Few Loads Of Laundry At White House Today

Bus Driver Always Richest Person On Bus

LOS ANGELES—Los Angeles bus driver Alonzo Reyes is perpetually the wealthiest person onboard the 32-seat public transit vehicle he drives along Metro line 219 for six hours every weekday, local sources announced Friday. “I’m doing really well compared to the people I pick up on my route,” said the Class B license holder, who, thanks to his membership in an effective labor union, enjoys a $34,500 annual salary and a comprehensive benefits package. “I make enough to feed my kids and pay rent on a decent apartment, but for everyone I drive across town, the $1.50 fare is a major expense.” At press time, sources confirmed that Reyes had completed his shift for the day and was driving home in the shittiest car within a half-mile stretch of freeway.

I Never Thought I Would See The Day Everyone Had Access To A Ruler

by Fred DeLuca, President, Subway

When I started my first sandwich shop in 1965 with $1000 borrowed from a friend, I never dreamed I would one day preside over the world’s largest restaurant chain. I certainly never expected to oversee the meteoric rise of a multinational corporation with annual revenue in the billions. Hell, I never even thought I would open a second location. But make no mistake, my friends.  I would have bet on any of those things before I guessed I would live to see a time everyone, everywhere would have access to an inexpensive device that could accurately measure my sandwiches.

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Nation Anxiously Awaits Inauguration Results

UNITED STATES—In the wake of the November 2012 re-election of U.S. President Barack Obama, the nation’s 300 million citizens are nervously anticipating the results of the upcoming presidential inauguration, sources confirmed Monday. The looming public ceremony, which will take place a day later than the official swearing-in, has generated considerable excitement among a populace eager to learn who will head its executive branch until January 2017. “This is truly a toe-curling moment,” said Harrisburg, PA resident Judy Marlowe, who hosts a presidential inauguration party in her home every four years. “When someone is inaugurated president, that person becomes president, plain and simple.” At press time, the citizenry reported that it had not been this nervous since the moments leading up to the presentation of the Vince Lombardi Trophy after the New York Giants’ 2012 Super Bowl victory.

Man-On-The-Street: TSA To Remove Nude Scanners

Following the manufacturer’s failure to resolve key privacy issues, the Transportation Security Administration announced this week that it would remove its X-ray scanners, which controversially produce nude images of travelers, from U.S. airports by June. What do you think?

 

“That’s disappointing, but I intend to make the most of the last five months I can legally expose my penis to strangers.”
Vern Peoria – Valve Calibrator

“That’s great, but what’s being done about all those doctors gawking at our X-rays with impunity?
Marcy Dillon – Filament Specialist

“I’m all for getting rid of the scanners as long as they start requiring travelers to pass through security naked.”
Timmy Schneidler – Logistics Architect

New McDonald’s Health Plan Requires Participants To Waive Food Discount

OAK BROOK, IL—Amid mounting criticism over its exemption from key provisions of the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act, the McDonald’s Corporation announced Thursday that it would begin offering comprehensive medical insurance to any worker who voluntarily surrenders his or her right to purchase McDonald’s food at reduced prices. “We’re pleased to offer robust medical benefits to employees with even the most rudimentary sense of respect for their bodies,” said spokesperson Jennifer Cloven, adding that the restaurant chain expects the new program to reduce participants’ medical costs by more than 80 percent. In a further move Cloven said would take effect later this year, McDonald’s will require workers who enroll in the company-sponsored health plan to sign an affidavit promising never to consume anything, discounted or not, prepared inside a McDonald’s restaurant.

32 Die Maturely In Hospice Fire

Yelp Review Perfectly Illustrates Writer’s Detestable Personality

LOS ANGELES—According to friends and acquaintances, a review posted Friday by Yelp user Kimberly Haseltine brilliantly portrays the 28-year-old woman’s complete despicability as a human being.

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Name Of Chinese Restaurant Spelled Same Way On All Signage

OLATHE, KS—According to reports from patrons, locally-owned Chinese restaurant Grand Hunan Palace uses the exact same sequence of characters to represent its name in every written instance throughout its interior and exterior.  “It’s the only Chinese restaurant I can be absolutely certain is the same restaurant from the time I first see the sign in the parking lot to the end of the month when I review my credit card statement,” said regular customer Jessica Mattson, adding that not one company-owned surface refers to the restaurant as “Hunan Grand Palace,” “Palace Grand Hunan Taste,” or simply “Chinese Food.” Providing an atmospheric element more in tune with traditional Chinese restaurants, noted Mattson, is a handwritten sign threatening swift retribution against anyone caught filling water cups with soda.

Denny’s Franchisee Thankful For Ability To Make Employees Work On Thanksgiving

WEST PALM BEACH, FL–Sitting at a dining table with a large gathering of family members, Denny’s franchisee Ted Smithouser announced Thursday his thankfulness that he is in a unique position to enjoy a delicious Thanksgiving dinner with his family while simultaneously forcing hundreds of people to report for work at dozens of Denny’s locations.

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